Needs, Wants, and Wishes
by RenegadePhoenix
Summary: Angst children. Total and un-compromising angst. Take a look into the thoughts and characterizations of both Goku and Vegeta and their thoughts on each other. Please R & R. YAOI!!!!
1. Needs, Wants, and Wishes

Title: Needs, Wants, and Wishes  
Author: JK aka RenegadePhoenix  
E-Mail: jk1137@albany.edu or renegadephoenix@excite.com  
Pairing: Goku/Vegeta  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, but do you think if I asked for them for Christmas I would get them?  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Kiya Sama, you wanna know something? Using a nerf shooter on yourself just doesn't seem to work as well to get you motivated! *Grins and then glomps her friend* Hope this can help cheer you up, my friend!  
  
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NEEDS, WANTS, AND WISHES  
  
GOKU'S POV  
  
Whenever I am near you Vegeta, I feel sparks jump up and down my spine. Electricity just seems to come alive in the air; something that has nothing to do with our power when we spar. And I know that you can feel it to because I sometimes glimpse it in your onyx eyes and the way you act.  
  
But why, Vegeta? Why do I know this when I know little else about you except for certain truths that I have observed and felt. The truths of your passion, your rage, and your intense hatred; I also know of your blood-born need for the fight, for violence.  
  
The need for violence...the need for the crunch of bones and the thud of flesh against flesh...the rush of adrenaline that crashes through your veins as your blood becomes heated...the pounding of the said same blood in your ears. I can barely repress the shudder that wracks through my body at the thought of such things as your eyes turn towards me in question.  
  
I want you, Vegeta. I want you more then I've ever wanted someone or something. I want you with a fierceness that I has become a desperate need. I need you, my ouji.  
  
I need your touch. I need you writhing below me in utter ecstasy. I need to see you flushed with pleasure that I have given to you. I need the stubborn pride that makes you you. I need that sharp, dangerous wit that so many of my friends fear. I need you...I want you.  
  
Kami, I wish you felt the same. I wish you yearned for me as much as I yearn for you. I wish...I wish...if only I could wish! If only I could gather the Dragonballs and have Shen-ron grant me that which I desire. But, it wouldn't be right. It would go against everything that I have always fought for to force you to feel something that you don't feel on your own.  
  
I would know though that the feelings would be a lie, even if you didn't, if I did what I want to. I would know that all that you feel for me, all you do because of those said feelings, is based nothing on a wish granted on by a dragon stronger then even your will. How I need to do this, but I can't...I-I won't.  
  
I hate you for making me wish, for making me want, and for making me need. And I love you all the more because of it. What am I to do? 


	2. Passion

Title: Passion (Companion to Needs, Wants, and Wishes)  
Author: JK  
E-Mail: jk1137@albany.edu, renegadephoenix@hotmail.com  
Pairing: Goku/Vegeta (like I write anything else? *giggles*)  
Disclaimer: My parents were meanies. They didn't get these boys for me for Christmas so they still belong to Akira Toriyama and TOEI Animation, still. *Pouts and sighs* Buffy The Vampire Slayer and it's related characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemies.  
Warning: This is unbetaed.  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
This piece came to me after watching a rerun of a Buffy episode that has always been my favorite. The episode is called "Passion" and if anyone is familiar with the show it is from the second season during the time that Angel, the main vampire of the show then, was his de-souled counterpart, Angelus. The quote that inspired this piece is at the bottom.  
  
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PASSION: A Companion to Needs, Wants, and Wishes  
  
VEGETA'S POV  
  
I am passion personified.  
  
Perhaps I should explain my reasoning behind such a bold statement. Every emotion, every want, every need that I feel I feel infinitely more then any one of those bakayarous that I have graced with my presence. They may deem me a cold, unfeeling bastard, but they could not be farther from the truth.  
  
They do not know what I truly am simply because I do not show them what I am. Those simpletons would not understand the pure passion that is behind every gesture, every look, and every word that makes me, me.  
  
Ahh....but even then there are certain things that i feel more passionately then others. Perhaps my greatest passion is the one that every saiya-jin that has ever lived has been ruled by, the the passion for fighting. For feeling flesh and blood and bone crunch beneath your knuckles as you connect a masterfully executed punch or the steady drip of blood as it flows from the numerous cuts from your body because of an intense battle that has left you barely standing. No...nothing rules a saiya-jin more then that certain passion.  
  
My passionate hatred is perhaps another thing that has ruled my life for almost as long as I can remember. I can remember how that and my ferocious drive to survive long enough to defeat the sadistic creature that destroyed my planet, my people, my father, AND my life sustained me more then anything else. Without that I do not think I would still be alive after so many years.  
  
Your wondering why I have not mentioned the third-class baka that has managed to surpass me since our final battle over the Earth. To tell you the truth...I do not hate him. I loath what he has been able to accomplish at times when I, the Saiya-jin no Ouji, cannot, but I do not hate him.  
  
I cannot bring myself to feel that particular emotion towards that big, beautiful moron. What I feel for him perhaps even rivals my passion for the fight. I cannot describe the feelings that seem to make up what I feel for him. It is the most complex thing that I have perhaps ever felt. There is anger and lust. There is compassion and kindredship. There is joy and there is grief that he is the only left like me. There is to much for me to put into words in this particular passion of mine.  
  
I am passion personified. Without passion I would not be who I am. I would be nothing more then an empty shell of a man. I will not be one of THEM, void of true passion and feeling.  
  
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Passion.   
It lies in all of us.   
Sleeping......waiting... And though unwanted...   
...unbidden... it will stir...   
...open its jaws, and howl.   
It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?   
Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief.   
It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow.   
Empty rooms, shuttered and dank...   
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.   
-Angelus, "Passion" 


End file.
